Are you playing by the rules?
(Latest fine-tuning: September, 2024)
–Everything begins with the way you “choose” to think. (It all starts in the brain muscle; that 6 inches of real estate between your ears) If you pull that muscle, you pull them all.
Your thoughts produce your actions and reactions (what you say and do; your behavior). If you can’t or don’t control your thoughts, you can’t and won’t control your behavior.
God, help me be more Christ-like in everything I think, say, and do.
-It is your thoughts that set off the chain of events which make life work: Thinking – Saying – Doing – Being. These are the functions of all human beings. This is how life works. What you choose to think, say and do defines who and what you be“come.”
Thoughts, attitudes and actions shape and define the content of your character which reveals your identity (who you be).
-You can only think one thought at a time and there are only two things you can do with that thought: You can act on it (say it, do it) or you can dismiss it (let it go; move on to the next thought).
-Thoughts and attitudes are related, but different. Thoughts happen one at a time and are acted on by choice. Attitudes are ingrained and produce behavior automatically, without a conscious thought. With an attitude, you don’t think about acting or reacting in a certain way, it’s just the way you always act and react.
-Be careful which thoughts and actions you allow to become ingrained as attitudes. With attitudes your behavior, good or bad, is on “auto-pilot.” Remember that your attitudes shape and define the content of your character; attitudes are the “characteristics” of your character.
-Attitude modifiers
–Actions and reactions are your behaviors. Actions are what you say and do. Reactions are what you say and do in response to someone or some”thing.” (Both actions and reactions are either good or bad, but they can’t be both at the same time and they can’t be anything other than good or bad). The goal: Only good actions and good reactions.
With actions, you initiate the behavior by what you say and and how you say it and what you do and how you do it. With reactions, you are “acting” in response to how others act (perhaps even when they are reacting to something you said or did), you are reacting to what someone says or how they say it or what someone does and how they do it. It is also acting in response to something; some”thing” (a situation or circumstance) that happens.
-How should I act and react?
-Good behavior (actions and reactions) should be considered “in-character,” your “default” factory setting, so to speak; the way you have intentionally been designed to behave. Good actions, good reactions, good behavior, good character, good person, good life.
Bad behavior should always be “out-of-character.” When resetting from “out-of-character” back to “in-character,” all you have to do is “reset to default.” (look how you look and act how you act when you are “in-character”).
-Make sure your bad behaviors are rare and brief; they don’t happen very often and they don’t last very long. Recognize them and change them from bad to good immediately. Work to eliminate the bad behaviors that occur frequently. Do not let them become ingrained as attitudes. Don’t be “that person.”
-You have the ability and the responsibility to control your actions and reactions (behavior) at all times; always good, rarely bad; once in a blue moon. Disciplined thinking, awareness, self-control and wisdom are required.
-Think before you say things or do things; before you act or react. (a tape delay) Choose your actions wisely; are they good or bad, right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, will they help or hurt, are there benefits or consequences, is it in-character or out-of-character, is it Christ-like or not, does it please God or does it not? Use self-restraint when needed. Sometimes just saying and doing nothing are the best responses. Or perhaps a “soft answer will turn away wrath.” You might just have to kill ’em with kindness. It’s like heaping burning coals on their head; figuratively speaking. Maybe, just smile and change the subject or your location. Sometimes you might just have to “turn the other two cheeks” and walk (or run) away.
-Do not reciprocate (DNR) the negativity of others. (To reciprocate means to respond in like manner). Two negatives do not make a positive (unless you multiply or divide them; algebraically speaking). Consistently make every attempt to present the good attitudes and actions you wish to be reciprocated by others. You usually “get what you give.”
-Always have an attitude in place to deal with any circumstance before it even happens, so you will know how to behave; act and react. A simple fix: respond to good with a good attitude and respond to bad with a good attitude.
- A good attitude can make the good things in your life seem like they are so good they couldn’t possibly be any better.
- A bad attitude can make the bad things seem like they are so bad they couldn’t possibly be any worse.
- A bad attitude can even make those good things seem like they’re not as good as you thought they were.
- But a good attitude can make the bad things seem like they are not so bad after all.
Bad attitudes make both bad things and good things seem worse. Good attitudes make both good things and bad things seem better. Better is better.
-Never over-react unless it’s a dangerous or life-threatening situation. Most situations are not dangerous or life-threatening and don’t require an over-reaction.
-Whatever choices you make, makes you. Those attitude choices shape and define your true character. So always make “good” choices (decisions)… always!
-Attitude awareness is the key. Use your built-in Attitude Meter. It your ongoing internal awareness of what’s running through your head at any given moment. It is an essential component for your success (the ongoing accomplishment of goals) and should always be in the “on” position to monitor whether your thoughts, attitudes and actions are good or bad. Note that good and bad never intersect, it’s either good or bad, this way or that way, one way or the other, but never both at the same time.
The meter could also just be the word “bad” popping up on the screen when the thoughts, attitudes and action go from “good to bad.” Action or reaction.
180° words: Action words or phrases that you use to go from “bad to good” instantaneously. I can be any of the good modifiers. Yes or no. Stop it. Be patient. Don’t say it. Walk away. Flash a smile, etc.
-Can’t, won’t, don’t. These are “contraction distractions.” Cannot, will not, do not. The focus must never be on “not.” The brain “muscle” does what it’s told to do. If you focus on not, “not” is what you will get; “cannot, will not and do not” is what the brain will seek. You’ll get what you don’t want. Keep it up and you’ll find you’re a prophet. It’s true… you either can or you can’t, will or you won’t, do or you don’t. But don’t let your contractions be distractions. Focus only on what you can do, will do and do do. Always look for the good and expect the best.
-Can’t, won’t, don’t. These are “contraction distractions.” Cannot, will not, do not.
The focus must never be on “not.” The brain “muscle” does what it’s told to do. If you focus on not, “not” is what you’ll get… “cannot, will not and do not” is what the brain will seek. You’ll get exactly what you don’t want. Keep it up and you’ll find you’re a prophet.
It’s true… you either can or you can’t, will or you won’t, do or you don’t. But don’t let your contractions be distractions.
Focus only on what you can do, will do and “do do.” You’re gonna get what you’re looking for, so always look for the good and expect the best.
-Good attitudes are more likely to be reciprocated and can also diffuse a testy and distressful situation.
-Your thoughts, attitudes and actions are either good or bad, but can’t be both at the same time and can’t be anything other than good or bad and whatever else represents good and bad…for example: positive or negative, optimistic or pessimistic, friendly or unfriendly, happy or unhappy, enthusiastic or apathetic, respectful or disrespectful, Christ-like or not, and many more; all either good or bad.
-There is no gray area between good and bad to either hide in or deceive yourself with. You must choose a side and there are only two choices. There are degrees of good and bad …excellent, great, terrible, awful, for example, but even the worst good is still good and the best bad is still bad. Not too good is still good and not so bad is still bad.
Let “good” be your default factory setting. “Reset to default” as often as needed.
The adjectives (modifiers) used to describe a person’s attitude speak volumes about the content of their character.
Your character reveals your true identity and influences the performance of the important roles you play and the quality of life you live each day.
Know the specific attitudes (modifiers) which shape and define the content of your character. You need to fine-tune this list each day.
You are the only you there will ever be in the history of the world. There is only “one you” and there will always only be “one you.”
Our local, national and even world-wide “identity” struggle is the consequence of trying to identify as “self minus God” which is where we all begin, but no matter how hard you try to do it by yourself, “self by yourself” without God will never, ever be enough. What’s missing is love relationship with the one true and only living, Creator God by His grace through genuine repentance and faith in Jesus, justified by God through the righteousness of Jesus and transformed by the Holy Spirit into a spiritual rebirth, where you are born again as a new creation in Christ. The old you no longer exists and everything about you is completely new… a new heart, a new way of thinking, You no longer identified by who you and what you’ve done, but by whose you are in Jesus through His righteousness, making you whole and complete for the first time and for all time.
The truth, absolute and indisputable, is there is simply no solution for the human problem of sin and its eternal punishment except by the grace of the one true and only living, Creator God and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. None. That is the purpose of this short life.
You were wonderfully made, created in the image of God, designed for success (the ongoing accomplishment of goals), destined to win in this life and for eternity by God’s mercy and grace. Jesus died once for all, but His righteousness does not become yours or mine until we personally accept Him as Lord and Savior and make Him the Master of you life. You earthly and eternal lives will be forever changed.
“You are who you are and what you are because of what has gone into you mind. You can change who you are and what you are by knowing whose you are and changing what goes into your mind.” The great Zig Ziglar
It is your character which influences the performance of the important roles you play in life. Good character makes you roles “award-winning.” Apply that same character to all the roles you play.
Quality of life is the goodness produced by the way you live you life and also is a reflection of your character.
“You can everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” The great Zig Ziglar
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always be “out-of-character.” Good is good and bad is bad. When resetting from out-of-character behavior back to in-character, all you have to do is “reset to default.”
Make sure your bad behaviors are rare and brief; they don’t happen very often and they don’t last very long. Recognize them and change them from bad to good immediately.
Do not reciprocate (DNR) the negativity of others. (To reciprocate means to respond in like manner). Consistently make every attempt to present the good attitudes and actions you wish to be reciprocated.
Always have an attitude in place to deal with any circumstance before it even happens so you will know how to act and react. A simple fix: respond to good with a good attitude and respond to bad with a good attitude. You usually get what you give.
Habits are thoughts and behaviors learned through frequent repetition, thinking, acting and reacting the same way over and over then again and again. They are habits of thought, habits of what you say and how you say it and habits of what you do and how you do it.
Attitudes originate with the way you choose to think and are habits of thoughts and actions repeated frequently enough to become ingrained in your subconscious mind and heart as automatic actions and reactions.
Your attitudes and the actions and reactions they produce, both good and bad, are on “auto-pilot,” operating without a conscious thought. With an attitude you don’t think about acting or reacting in a certain way, it’s just the way you always act and react… good or bad.
The most important thing about attitudes is that they shape and define the “content” of your character. They are the “characteristics” of your character, revealing your identity… the person you really are… the real you.
An attitude modifier is an adjective for the noun “attitude.” A fill-in-the-blank attitude. The modifiers describe the attitudes that become the “characteristics” which shape and define the content of your character. They are descriptors of how you will act and react in any circumstance. It is imperative that you “know thy modifiers.”
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-Teach yourself to say yes to the things you need to yes to and no to the things you should say no to; yes to good and no to bad. Yes to the things you should say, no to the things you should not say. Yes to the things you should do and no to the things you should not do.
Remember, some of these yeses and nos have unplanned and unwanted consequences.
The all-powerful brain muscle does exactly what it’s told to do. It cannot think for you or tell you what to do and neither should anyone else for that matter. You either act on the thought with a silent yes or dismiss it with a silent no. You behavior follows the command.
Most struggles happen when you say yes to the things you should say no to and no to the things you should say yes to. It is easy to change a no to a yes, but much more difficult to change a yes to a no.
-Decisions, decisions, decisions. Nobody can make you do what you decide “not to do” or stop you from doing what you decide “to do.” Is it “Christ-like? Does it please God? These are the only two guidelines needed to make good decisions and wise choices. If the answer to those questions is “no,” it’s not Christ-like and it doesn’t please God, and you do it anyway, that’s “on you” and you must understand God’s wrath and His rightful judgment.
-Attitude adjustments can be made in just two steps. Ongoing awareness is the first step. Behavioral change comes next, changing from bad behavior to good behavior. It’s the quick fix.
–Catch yourself in the act and do a 180. When you catch yourself in the act(ion) of: 1) thinking thoughts you shouldn’t be thinking, 2) saying things you shouldn’t be saying or 3) saying them in a way you shouldn’t be saying them, 4) catch yourself doing things you shouldn’t be doing, 5) hanging around with people who are influencing you to do what you shouldn’t be doing and/or 6) being in places where you shouldn’t be, the “attitude meter” is on “bad” and an immediate attitude adjustment must be made to avoid unwanted consequences.
Catch yourself in the act(ion); saying and doing something you should be saying and doing. Stop it immediately and change from “bad to good” instantaneously.
“Do a 180° (degree)” turn and go in the opposite direction immediately, mentally, behaviorally and physically, if necessary. Change your thinking and actions by changing bad behavior to good and eliminate those things from future recurrence.
A bad thought can simply be dismissed on the spot. Bad attitudes and actions can be changed to good instantaneously from the inside-out or the outside-in. But the quick fix is to start from the outside-in by changing your behavior, not your thoughts. Negative (bad) becomes positive (good) on the spot.
“It is quicker and easier to act your way into new thinking than to think your way into new actions.” – Jon Katzenbach
When you change your behavior (from the outside-in), your mindset will follow. Your thoughts and actions must always be in harmony.
-There is only one rule for relationships and it’s golden. “Treat yourself as you would have others treat you and treat all others the same.”
Simply put, always be friendly, kind, polite, respectful and fair to everyone, including yourself; unconditionally.
You will usually “get what you give.” The law of give and get. If you give “good” you get “good.” If you give “bad,” you get “bad.” It’s reciprocity. It’s the way human beings are wired. Expect it.
Do this: Avoid a potential confrontation by beating the other person to the punch and “give it” first. Smile first, speak first, extend your hand first, greet them first, say or do something nice and encouraging first. Tell them “I hope you have a great day!” You will be stunned with the reciprocal results!
-Your attitudes, both good and bad, have been influenced by a variety of sources over time; influences and influencers, influencing you. Know who and what is influencing you and whether the influences are good or bad or whatever represents good and bad. Influence is the power used by others to affect how you think and act.
Be careful who and what influences you and how you influence others. Remember, in the end, no matter who or what influences you, you are completely responsible for how you choose to think and act and for the consequences they produce. Make good choices and wise decisions… always.
-A good attitude is the most important ingredient for success in life. Success if the ongoing accomplishment of goals. Goals are things you want to be, do and have.
Success requires 3 specific steps: Decide – Take Action – Evaluate & Adjust. Make specific decisions; decide exactly what you want to have, be or do. Take specific actions; take the type of action that takes you closer to your goals. Constantly evaluate your progress and make adjustments as needed. You can adjust the game plan and/or the goal.
“Taking targeted, specific actions is the foundational key to all success.” (adapted from Pablo Picasso; emphasis added) Specific decisions, specific actions. This-this, that-that, this-that, that-this.
Plug in the essential attitudes every day.
-The essential attitudes are discipline, confidence, motivation and determination. The sum of all four is “toughness.” These essential attitudes are the same for every person on earth, no matter who you are or what you are trying to accomplish.
Discipline means doing things the way they are supposed to be done; doing the right things the right way; always. Confidence is knowing that you can do whatever you want to do or need to do. It comes from being totally prepared to accomplish your goal. Motivation is the internal driving force that makes you take the type action to get things done. Energy, controlled adrenaline; e-motions (energy in motion), laser focus; “motivaction.” If you really, really want to do something, nobody can keep you from doing it. But if you really. really don’t want to do something, nobody can make you do it. True motivation must come from within. Determination is the ability to persist in order to make things happen. There is no greater human power. Dogged determination, persistence and willpower… you have to be relentless, with no fear, in the execution of the targeted and specific goal and game plan. Fear makes you freeze up. Toughness simply means that you are in complete control of the way you “choose” to think complete control of the way you “choose” to think and can still perform at high level regardless of the situations or circumstances you find yourself in, or self-perceived pressures or any distractions that may cloud your thinking and you ability to compete as you were designed. The fundamentals remain the same regardless of your wrong thinking and distractions. This is what you want and this is how you get it. Stay focused on the “process.”
No matter what your profession or project, plug in the essentials at the beginning of each day; Discipline, confidence, motivation, determination, toughness. Decide- Take Action – Evaluate & Adjust; all day, every day.
Success is simply getting what you want. What do you want? What’s the plan to get it? Do it! Make it happen. Getting what you want is fun. Have fun.
What is the ultimate success in life? Is it money? Is it fame? Is it power? Is it stuff? No. The “ultimate success,” the only lasting success in this life, is accepting God’s amazing grace through faith in Jesus Christ. It is the only thing that you must do in this life. In fact, it is the purpose of your existence in the “grace period” of our temporary earthly lives. It’s the only success that lasts for eternity. Don’t live here and leave here without it.
-You cannot control all the circumstances in life, but you can always control the way you think and act in every circumstance.
“A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.” Picasso
Identify your problems and then focus on solutions.
Don’t keep re-identifying the same problems over and over.
Do not be anxious. Stats say that 90% or more of the things we worry about never happen.
-If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it and then perhaps you will find a solution.
-You are going to get what you’re looking for, so always look for the good and expect the best.
Your behavior and performance tend to gravitate in the direction of your expectations. Raise your expectations.
-Pray each day to be more Christ-like in everything you think, say and do.
-Cultivate the attitude of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you and give thanks continuously. You reap what you sow.
First and foremost, be grateful for who you are and whose you are and for what Jesus has done for you.
Acknowledge and thank God for His blessings in real time, on-the-spot, as they happen or as you reflect on them each day.
Choose to be grateful even when things aren’t so great.
“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express your gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” The great Zig Ziglar
-Do the Math
-Learn to Push All the Right Buttons
In life, you must learn to push the right “action” buttons; not literally, but figuratively.
Delete (it’s done. Erase it), reset (start again, reset to default), volume (turn it down; not so loud), tone (change how you’re saying what you’re saying), mute (don’t say it; be positive, be helpful or be quiet), escape (do a 180; turn around and go the other way; get out of there), shift (pick up the pace or back away), pause (think before you say it or do it).
-Let your source of strength, endurance, hope and power be THE source of strength, endurance, hope and power.
-“Whatever happens, always conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” (Philippians 1:27)
-Live, work and play one pitch at a time. In the now; the immediate, in the present moment.
The past has already happene-DUH and the future is not yet here. All we have is right now.
The only two things you should take from your past are great memories and lessons learned. That is all. Hit the delete and reset buttons.
“If you want to be happy, do not dwell on the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” Roy Bennett
-Renew your commitments each day.
-Body Language
-Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying
Can’t, won’t, don’t. These are “contraction distractions.” Cannot, will not, do not. The focus must never be on “not.” If you focus on not, not is what you will get. You either can or you can’t, will or you won’t, do or you don’t.
Enjoy the process of your life; every single moment, every single pitch, every single play, every single everything, every single day. The clock is ticking and there are no timeouts or do-overs. Moments wasted are forever wasted.
And if you wear out living life, let it be because of your abundance of blessings from God and the abundance of good you do each day.
-There is only one rule for relationships and it’s golden. “Treat yourself as you would have others treat you and treat all others the same.”
Simply put, always be friendly, kind, polite, respectful and fair to everyone, including yourself; unconditionally.
It’s simple: “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you and do not do unto others what you would not have them to do unto you.”
It’s the same thing. Even more simply put, “you usually get what you give.” If you give “good,” you get good. If you give “bad,” you get bad, whatever good or bad is. Reciprocity. Expect it.
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